Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Harshit Arora, we have been classmates for 3 years !!

Harshit is probably one of us from the class of 27, who was the most restless person. No high pretences, no non sense things to talk about. "Talk to me about technical things only" kind of person. Very very subtle observations....straight talks.

The first day, I saw you, you were carrying an old woodland green polythene bag with some documents inside it. Sitting in the lawns of a newly opened college in Agra, seeing and consciously judging each other and the kind of challenges we might get from each other.....finally in the group discussion you had to speak on "power corrupts" and you started out speaking about "power cuts...." the class was into splits :-) ......sometime in February 1998, Agra.

How quickly that time went by....you have not been regular on campus....a mysterious nerd.
Many things remind me of you Harshit when I see your comment on one of the articles on the blog.

It has been almost 9 years now since we have met. Looking forward to have a blast together sometime very soon.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Transalation Job Getting Tougher Than Imagined

The translation job has started as per the plan. The efforts are high as my 2 hours from the daily schedule are dedicated to it but still it is really slow.

The transliteration tool I am using, I must say that the tool is really great! Google people, I admire you guys who have worked on this tool and your benevolence to share it for free on the Internet.

Experiencing "Passion for some work" these days!

-Rahul

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Aabida - A Short Story


Ashraf in Arabic means "The Most Honourable" while Aabida means "The Worshiper". Even if you see their names , it seems like they are complementary to each other.

Ashraf has checked the clock for the third time in the last twenty minutes. 3:30 AM in the morning is not really the morning but a fulsome night. When station officer had asked him to join at 3:30 AM the next morning, this resisting thought was the first reaction Ashraf has responded with within himself. Now, Ashraf is to get up against the urge to sleep some more time. He has been sleeping in installments since the time he has hit the bed.

"We'll escort the team to the hotel once the match is over, then a briefing with the officer in the police station, and I'll be back by 8:30 or at the most 9 in the evening", Ashraf registered his routine for today in Aabida's listening while donning the police uniform. Aabida did hear it but was not really present to it. She was asleep. Ashraf took her sighs as catalysts to his talking and kept explaining.


Ashraf flew past his two kids who were also asleep, saw their pristine faces and left the house. A jeep from the police station was waiting for him outside.

On the way to the police station, he tried again to catch up with the sleep in his eyes. I should not have joined police force. Had it been some other other job...I would be sleeping at home by now, Ashraf thought....but its only working for the police force that a 12th standard passed man could support a family of 4, another thought countered the previous one. As he was managing between the naps, the jeep reached the police station.


Its a bright day. Aabida heard some noise outside and left the bed. "Oh! I have slept unusually longer today", Aabida mumbled. She came towards the Vanda but was blinded by the bright sunlight. She quickly moved her dupatta ( the head scarf) to cover her eyes. It is almost noon.

After a while, somebody knocked on the door very hard. Aabida shouted back,"Do not break open the door, I am coming". Wafa ran in as soon as the door opened. Wafa is a friend of Pravez, Aabida's son. He called upon Parvez and switched on the TV. He tuned it to a news channel. All four of them gathered in the drawing room and watched the news with curiosity. All the news channels were broadcasting the news of the attack on Sri Lankarn cricket team in the city.


Aabida is a strong lady. Ashraf is too busy in his official activities that he can't spare much time for the domestic work or helping Aabida. All domestic work, Kids education, managing relationships - all these are Aabida's unspoken responsibilities.

When she saw the news of the attack on the team, she found herself very weak. Ashraf was escorting the team. She went up on the roof as if some help is waiting there or if she could see the place up from there but only to see a barrage of houses around. There were some beautiful kites flying in the sky but Aabida did not even notice. She was confused as where to go or what to do in this unease. Now, this anxiety is making Aabida run.

Ever since she has married Ashraf, a police constable, she has faced many occasions when she was scared for the future of the family. It has always been a conflict between doubts and hope for the future. But now it feels as if the doubts have taken over; as if the worst that the future has kept so far has occurred.

Aabida took some medicine for her dwindling blood pressure. She is down with a wagging war inside, and from outside it seems as she is seriously thinking over something. A possible sorrow of Ashraf not being around is thickened by the thought of a dark future with a mammoth responsibilities ahead. The height of such fears have almost paralyzed Aabida. Now she is totally unable to do anything.

Somebody knocked the door. Aabida was caught in the morass of her thoughts, her own creation and did not even notice it. Ashraf came right in front of her. A slight pressure of Ashraf's hand on her shoulder brought her back to notice his presence. Her eyes inflated in surprise to see him there.

Pseudo reality and the reality of the moment were engaged in a duel. She started crying. All the fears were gone, the pseudo reality has lost to the moment.

Parvez and his sister Shirin started running around them. They have been motionless since morning, seeing the pathetic condition of their mother.

Their wish of getting some good food for the evening was granted by their parents.

Friday Evenings

The best evening in the whole of the week - Friday of course!
My day to office started with wearing a pair of Levis ( the only one I have these days, and would surely buy at least two more in the coming week) and a dark green "Luis Phillipe" shirt.

Anubhav tells me that this combination is striking and I tell myself to record it in my alaya ( a place to store karma in Buddhist philosophy).

Day is not so difficult to spend at work, replying mails, preparing course materials, doing meetings or con-calls, going on breaks with the colleagues cum friends and having discussions on every conceivable topic. Is n't it a real bliss of working in an office?

As the evening approaches, the sparkling taste of beer comes knocking real hard and the Maslow's dog, who is hard wired or lets say - conditioned to salivate at the mere thought of it, starts devising plans to grab it. Did Maslow keep the beer in the pyramid of human needs- no, and it was a big mistake the genius has made.

Paulo Coelho says, which Ruk Ruk Khan shamelessly copied in his movie, that when you really want something, the whole world conspires to make it happen. And believe me that the beer is no different. I really thought of it and a few hours after leaving the office I was hydrating myself with this chilled golden fluid. The Noble prize for Chemistry should, every year, be given to the "anonymous" angel for inventing it that still keeps the world in high "SPIRITS".

Guys, I am seriously considering whether to publish this post or not :-))

Thursday, March 12, 2009

My e-mail to my friends about making Disaster Management Program a success!

Dear Friends,
I am commited to do a community project for my colleagues sometime in the month of April/May 09.
This project would be an awareness cum training session for at least 50 participants about the
"Disaster Management Practices and Policies" in India and would be conducted by some competent Govt. Agency.
Execution of such a project would equip the participants with a knowledge to save lives in the event of disaster/calamity.
1. THE SITUATION IN THIS AREA RIGHT NOW:
  • Larger set of people are not aware about Disaster Management Practices.
2. PREDICTABLE FUTURE IF NO ACTION IS TAKEN:
  • In the event of disasters, people could panic.
    There could be casualties as panic may lead to chaos
    for each person running for his/her own life.
  • And then people start blaming authorities for inadequate
    resources.
  • Training people on such practices, in addition to only conducting awareness would enable them
    reenact such skills in the real event of disasters.
3. FUTURE IN THIS AREA IF SUCH A PROJECT BECOMES A REALITY:
  • Participants further educate their families about it.
  • People could help themselves and take responsibility to save others and themselves.
  • In the event of disasters/calamities less causalities and people would bond together
    to save more lives instead of blaming the authorities.
  • Admiration for the Company Policies.
This mail is intended to make you aware of such a possibility and also to seek your assistance in knowing such agencies/people
to conduct it and your active participation to make it a success!!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

आबिदा - लघु कथा

"अशरफ" का अरबी भाषा में अर्थ "सबसे ज्यादा आदरणीय" होता है और आबिदा का "पूजा पाठ करने वाली"। नाम सुनने से भी लगता है जैसे ये दोनों एक दूसरे के लिए ही हों।

अशरफ ने पिछले २० मिनट में तीसरी बार घड़ी देखी है। सुबह ३:३० का समय कहने को ही सबह का होता है, होती तो वो रात ही है। जब स्टेशन ऑफिसर ने सुबह ३:३० पर आने को बोला था तो यही प्रतिरोधी विचार उसके दिमाग में आया था। नींद भी तो इतनी सुबह जल्दी जाने के आगे बेबस थी। अशरफ भी रात से ही नींद के साथ किया वादा किश्तों में निभा रहा था।

मैच ख़त्म होने पर टीम को स्टेडियम से होटल तक लेकर जाना होगा उसके बाद थाने में एक ब्रीफिंग होगी, तो रात के ८:३० या ज्यादा से ज्यादा ९ बजे तक लौट आऊंगा। वर्दी पहनते अशरफ ने आबिदा के कानो में अपनी दिनचर्या दर्ज करायी। आबिदा ने सुना जरूर पर उसकी नींद ने सिर्फ़ सुन ने भर की ही इजाज़त दी थी उसे, समझने या याद करने की नहीं। आबिदा की हाँ-हूँ को ही वो अपनी बातों में उत्प्रेरक मानता आगे बोलता रहा।

अशरफ ने जाते समय अपने दोनों बच्चों शक्ल को झलक भर देखा और घर से निकल गया। बाहर थाने की गाड़ी इंतज़ार कर रही थी।

अशरफ गाड़ी में अपनी बची हुई नींद को फिर से पूरी करने की कोशिश करने लगा कुछ और रोज़गार करते तो कम से कम सोते तो चैन से...लेकिन इस महंगाई में १२ पास करके सिर्फ़ पुलिस की नौकरी में ही लोगो का पेट पल सकता है। इसी वाद-प्रतिवाद और हलकी फुल्की झपकियों में ही गाड़ी थाने पहुँची

सुबह निकल आई थी। बाहर कुछ शोर सुनकर आबिदा की नींद टूटी। "आज कुछ ज्यादा ही सो ली, घड़ी की और देखकर आबिदा बुदबुदाई। आँगन तक आई तो धुप की चमक से आँखें चुन्धियाने लगी, तुंरत आँखें मिचमिचाकर अपने दुप्पट्टे को माथे से थोड़ा नीचे खींचा। वाकई दिन चढ़ आया था।

कुछ ही देर में दरवाजे पर दस्तख हुई। इतनी तेज़ की आबिदा चिल्ला पड़ी,"आ रही हूँ, दरवाजा न तोड़ो"। वफ़ा दरवाजा खुलते ही अंदर दौड़ा। वफ़ा, आबिदा के बेटे परवेज़ का दोस्त था। अंदर आते ही टीवी चालू कर के न्यूज़ लगाई और परवेज़ को पुकारने लगा। घर में चारों के चारों टीवी पर श्रीलंका टीम पर हमले की ख़बर देखने लगे। सभी चेनलों पर यही ख़बर थी। आबिदा यूँ तो एक मजबूत औरत है। अशरफ को नौकरी से कहाँ इतना समय मिल पता है की घर पे धयान दे सके। घर का सामान, बच्चों की पढाई, रिश्तों नातों की ख्याल - हर बात आबिदा ही जिम्मे है।

आज जब टीवी पर ये न्यूज़ देखी तो अपने आप को कमज़ोर होता पाया। दोड़कर छत पर गई और चारों ओर नज़र घुमाई तो सिर्फ़ मकान ही मकान दिखाई दिए। आसमान में सुंदर सी पतंगे थी - पर इतनी घबराहट थी की उसे उनका होना या होना कोई फर्क नहीं करता था। समझ नहीं आ रहा थी की इस सहसा बढ़ी बैचैनी में कहाँ जाए, किस से पूछे। परेशानी ही अब आबिदा को चला रही है या की दौड़ा रही है।

एक पुलिस कांस्टेबल से शादी करने के बाद बहुत बार ऐसे मौके आए हैं जब वो बहुत डर गई थी। कई बार उसे अपना और अपने परिवार का भविष्य आशाओं से ज्यादा आशंकाओं से भरा दिखाई दिया । पर लगता है की जैसे आज सब शंकाएँ सच हो गई हैं।

आबिदा ने अपने घटते ब्लड प्रेशर की दवाई ली। लग रहा है की जैसे कुछ सोच रही हो पर अंदर तो वो युध्ग्रस्त है । अपने अशरफ के जिन्दा न रहने का संभावित दुःख, उसकी में अपने बच्चों के साथ कठिन जीवन की कल्पना से गहराता चला गया। इसी दुःख की पराकाष्ठा ने उस के हाथ पाँव बाँध दिए हैं। वो बाहर जाए , फ़ोन करे , पूछे या किसी को भेजे पर इस डर के ख़याल ने हीउसे भावनात्मक चोट पहुंचाई है की वो अभी अपने नियंत्रन में नहीं।

बाहर दरवाज़े पर दस्तक हुई। आबिदा अपने विचारों के दलदल में धंसी बैठी थी की कुछ पता ही न चला। अशरफ सामने आ खड़ा हुआ। उपने कंधे पर वज़न पा कर जब चेहरा घुमाया तो आँखें फेल गई ।

उसके अंदर घमासान मचा था। आभासी वास्तविकता और क्षणिक वास्तविकता में द्वंद जारी था। आबिदा के आंसू निकल पड़े। काल्पनिक डर नदारद हो गया। आभासी वस्तविकता हार चुकी थी।

दोनों बच्चे घर में खुशी से दोड़ने लगे। माँ की दयनीय हालत पर एक कोने में सिमटे थे अभी तक।

शाम को अच्छा खाना बनाने की दोनों की इच्छा को माँ-बाप की अनुमति मिल चुकी थी।

Assisting in a course led by Judy

"The only reason to speak is to make a difference over there".
Judy Malony was the leader in a communication course I've been assisting.

Manish Gupta, an aspiring yoga instructor, was the production supervisor.
Manish managed the show very well. Reaching out to the details of every preparation and taking every comment of the leaders as a dictum for action, Manish created an impeccable environment to conduct a course. Although we were the part of the production team but Manish was the one, the production team was woven around. It was Manish whose call made the difference. I might not have gone in otherwise. Life has already been too busy to assist, I thought initially.

Surprisingly, not only I could find all the time, also had tete-e tete with the big time procastinator in me - I worked almost 16-17 hours a day for those two days.

Though I was continuously on the run, doing some or the other job , but managed to catch some profound discussions like - how we human beings resist communication and a simple act of choosing the communication creates a whole new world. It may not sound appealing but once you are "on the court" it makes hell lot of sense.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Why have I started writing?


I have taken up writing these days. This hobby is a serious step for realising my own self expression. I am creating myself in my own world by writing. Creating a self which was not there before in such a shape & form.

Juggling with my own thoughts and few of the many recent learnings, when I sat to write, I could see myself foraying into a space which is totally alien to me. In many ways, I would carry it in future and may try to define myself using this writing or writer phenomenon. I am fully aware of the after effects of such an effort.

Drawing myself, my own caricature using any or all of my abilities would always limit me no matter how big that caricature would be. So I intend to take this effort as a directed action coming out of a random thought in the moment. And I further remind myself not to draw any form of new ability out of this endeavour that fuels my ego.

I am also getting present to another stream of thought in my mind where I am telling myself to seriously seek approval from my friends who visit it and also to feel happy and encouraged by their approval or admiration. Though it would not be bad or morally wrong but surely this is not the real intention.

To my surprise, when I heard some of my close friends saying that whether I really wrote it myself or is it a forward kind of stuff.....my first reaction was to rush to prove it. I immediately started thinking of collecting evidences for it but sudden realisation of - this is how they 've been seeing me and the way I express my self in their presence, is enough to evaporate the desire to make them understand and appreciate my ability and writing skills and the real culprit behind all that - "the ability based identity".

I declare myself unstoppable on the face or admiration or the criticism. Although the desire for getting appreciation is still quite strong and I am aware of it and do acknowledge its presence but it has no space to rest in my consciousness and hence it has to depart.

I thank some special people here, who have given me a listening- a space where I can express my self and be a "CREATOR" in that space for all of us.

Obrigado
-Rahul

Monday, March 2, 2009

Responsibility - A Short Story

He walked into Sujit's shop, picked the tool kit and left. He didn't even acknowledge Sujit, forget the permission to pick the tool kit. He owns a nearby shop. Sujit thought of interrupting him, but was worried for what he might think of him. He might have rebuked me, thought Sujit.
Not a big deal, he 'll surely return it in a while, Sujit consoled himself. Sujit has really felt very bad but could not say anything - it is his way of dealing with life. He hides his inability so say "NO" under the garb of being a gentleman. He would quickly agree to what the people around him say.
Always staying nice has evolved into a habit by now. A poisonous habit - poison for him of course.

Sujit thinks that it makes his life very comfortable in many ways, no or less resistance in an ordinary, every day life. The price of living this way? Big price...nobody takes him seriously. He is taken for granted in every sphere of life. Many a times he is restless as nobody lets him live life the way he wants to live. Even he has forgotten by now as to what way he would love to live his life.

Today, when he walked away with the tool kit, Sujit thought of stopping him, but what really happened is the way life treats Sujit. But what is this...when he got the tool kit back, he found the hammer in two parts, a broken hammer. Sujit cursed him from within but showed him his ever tolerating side by thanking him for returning the kit. The pain within was unbearable for Sujit.

He discussed it with Guru when they met. He has always considered Guru to be a wise man. Guru was like a brother to him. Few years back when Sujit had come to the city, it was Guru who has had helped him then. But when Guru realised that Sujit is not serious enough for his own career and life and that it would not be in the very own interest of Sujit to stay along, he parted ways with Sujit after counselling the later about being responsible. Initially Sujit was disappointed. But he understands it now as how important it was for him then. He didn't see Guru for a few years initially but now he doesn't forget to see him at least once in a month.
Sujit, who otherwise is an introvert, manages to discuss on a few issues with Guru.

"Why do you stay as a gentleman 24x7", Guru spoke in a tough voice. Sujit has already told him the "tool kit" incident. "If somebody hurts your small kid, will you be staying as a gentleman then....can't you be responsible for the things in your own life?", this time Guru was grave.
"Even when it hurts, you stay as a nice man - but had you been a responsible man on the face of that event, you would have asked questions. If it was broken when returned, you should have questioned him. You could have also charged the price of the tool kit. Do not let your fears erase your responsibilities. By the way, do you know that all of us fear one or the other thing. You feared him - he also feared you initially but when he saw you meek on the other side of the counter, he returned to his zone and got away even after giving you the broken tool kit. Had you been responsible for your kit as you would be for your kid, the story would have been different", Guru was in full form.

Sujit has got the point.

Sujit has just opened the shop when he came in again. He picked a useless iron rod from one corner of the shop and was leaving. Sujit's heart sank. He thought of focusing on other issues or to overlook him. He might return it within a few hours . Anyway, its a useless iron rod, Sujit told himself. He also thought of stopping him. He realized as if his tongue is stuck to the palatal. He sensed his increased heart beat and has metamorphosed into a classic case of what they call as "flight or fight syndrome". He has become non-existent by now.

Suddenly the conversations with Guru struck him.
"Hey you, come here", Sujit spoke. He was some 10 metres away from the shop when he heard it. He was puzzled. He never expected such a behaviour from Sujit. "Me...?",he asked Sujit in a surprisingly arrogance. "Whom did you ask for the rod", Sujit roared after mustering all the courage. "I 'll return it very soon once the job is done", he was stammering with an anemic face.

"Put it back where you've picked it from. Yesterday you took away the tool kit without approval and on the top of it, even broke it", Sujit was the master of the game now. He was flabbergasted. He was standing unarmed in front of Sujit as if seeking his mercy. "You are going to pay 75 Rupees for the tool kit", said Sujit. "And now onwards when you require anything, have the courtesy to take the permission", Sujit put the last nail in the coffin. He mumbled a defeated "yes".

Responsibility is now more than a word for Sujit. It has gone on to become a feeling or even more than that he is now turned into a personification of "responsibility" itself.

Perhaps, Guru must be very happy for him now.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

जिम्मेदारी - लघु कथा

उसने सुजीत की दुकान से बिना पूछे टूल किट उठायी और लेकर चला गया। सुजीत को लगा की आवाज़ दे पर वो क्या सोचेगा । कहीं झिड़क ही न दे। थोडी देर में तो दे ही देगा। बुरा तो सुजीत को बहुत लगा पर हर बार की तरह इस बार भी कुछ कह न पाया। अपनी "न " न कह पाने की अक्षमता को सुजीत ने छुपा लिया है। उस पर एक हर वक्त अच्छा बने रहने का आवरण चढा दिया है उसने। लोगों ही हाँ में हाँ मिलाना; अपनी पसंद-नापसंद की जगह लोगों की सहमति को ज्यादा तवज्जो देना उसकी आदत बन चुकी है।

इससे सुजीत को लोगों का विरोध नहीं करना या सहना पड़ता। उसकी जिन्दगी आसान लगती है उसे कई बार। लेकिन इसकी अपनी कीमत भी चुकाता है वो। और यह काफी बड़ी कीमत होती है। उसे कोई भाव नहीं देता - परवाह नहीं करता कोई उसकी। उसका निर्णय कोई मायने नहीं रखता उसके आस पास के लोगों के लिए। लेकिन अन्दर कहीं वो बहुत बेचैन है। जीना तो चाहता है वो अपने तरीके से, पर कोई उसे ऐसा मौका नहीं देता।

आज जब उसने सुजीत की टूल किट उठाई तो भी सुजीत का मन हुआ की उसे रोके, पर वो ही हुआ जो हर बार होता आया है। कुछ कह ही नहीं पाया उससे। और ये क्या - जब टूल किट वापिस आई तो हथोडा टूटा हुआ था। मन ही मन हजारों गलियां दी सुजीत ने उसे, पर ऊपर से उसे धन्यवाद दिया टूल किट वापिस करने के लिए। खून का यह घूँट, घूँट न रहा; ग्लूकोज़ की बोतल की तरह रात भर उसे चढ़ता रहा।

कुछ दिन बाद जब वो गुरु से मिला तो ये जिक्र छेड़ बैठा। गुरु को वो एक समझदार इंसान मानता था। गुरु उसके बड़े भाई की ही तरह था। शुरू में तो गुरु ने उसे इस शहर में जमने में मदद की थी पर जब गुरु को लगा की सुजीत उस पर बहुत ज्यादा निर्भर रहने लगा है और ख़ुद का नुक्सान कर रहा है तो गुरु ने उसे डांटा और अपनी जिम्मेदारी अपने आप उठाने की सीख देकर अलग कर दिया। शुरू में तो बहुत बुरा लगा सुजीत को, पर आज गुरु की इसी बात का अहसान मानता है। पहले तो गुरु से कई साल तक मिलने ही नहीं आया पर अब समझ बढ़ गई है। अक्सर मिल लेता है और गुरु से कुछ सलाह मशविरा भी कर लेता है।

"तुझे हर वक्त अच्छा बने रहने की जरूरत क्या है", गुरु ने कठोर स्वर में पूछा? सुजीत गुरु को वो टूल किट वाली कहानी बता चुका था। "अगर तेरे बच्चे को कोई नुक्सान पहुँचायेगा तो क्या तू तब भी अच्छा ही बना रहेगा...कोई जिम्मेदारी नाम की भी कोई चीज़ होती है न", गुरु इस बार गंभीर था।
"तेरे शरीफ बन जाने की आदत के कारण नुक्सान होने पर भी तू अच्छा ही बना रहता है - पर एक जिम्मेदार आदमी शायद उससे कुछ सवाल जवाब करता और उस टूल किट ले जाने के बाद उसे ठीक ठाक वापिस न लौटाने पर सामने वाले को उसकी गलती का अहसास करता। टूल किट की कीमत भी वसूल की जा सकती थी। अपने डर को अपनी जिम्मेदारी पर हावी मत होने दिया कर। जानता है की डर हम सब के अन्दर होता है। वहां तू उससे डर कर अच्छा बना रहा- और वो शुरू में तुझसे डरा पर तुझे ख़ुद डरा देख कर संयत हो गया और तुझे एक टूटी किट दे कर अकड़ता हुआ चला गया। अगर तू अपनी टूल किट के लिए उतना ही जिम्मेदार होता जितना अपने बच्चे के लिए उसके बीमार होने पर, तो आज शायद तुझे मुझे बताने के लिए ये कहानी न होती और हम हँसी खुशी कुछ और अच्छी बातों में समय बिताते।

सुजीत को बात समझ आ चुकी थी।

सुजीत ने दुकान खोली ही थी की वो फिर आ गया। एक लोहे की छड़ ले कर जाने लगा।
सुजीत का दिल बैठने लगा। मन किया की नज़र फेर ले। दे जाएगा थोडी देर में। वैसे भी छड़ है, कोई लाखों की चीज़ नही। पर सुजीत की अक्ल ने उसको टोका। "उसको रखो" या "पूछ तो ले इसे लेने से पहले" कहा जा सकता है। अपनी जीभ तालू से चिपकी सी लगी सुजीत को उस पल। धड़कन भी हद तक बढ़ी थी। पैरों के जोडों, पूरे पूरे हाथ और गर्दन के पीछे दर्द महसूस होने लगा उसको। अन्क्सिएटी या बैचेनी बोलते हैं मनोवैज्ञानिक इसको। बेअसर हो गया सुजीत का अस्तित्व उस वक्त।

एकाएक गुरु की बात याद आ गई। बच्चे वाला उदाहरण बिजली की तरह सामने से होकर निकल गया।

"ओये, यहाँ आ"। ये सुजीत की आवाज थी। वो चौंका, वापिस १० कदम लौटकर दुकान तक आया । सुजीत से ऐसे व्यवहार की उम्मीद न थी उसे। इतने दिनों से इस दब्बू को देखता जो आ रहा था वो ।
" क्या बात है", उसने अचरज भरी अकड़ के साथ सुजीत पूछा।
"छड़ किस से पूछ कर उठाई", अपनी सारी हिम्मत जुटा कर सुजीत गरजा ।
" जल्दी लौटा दूंगा", इस बार बोलते हुए वो हकला रहा था। उसका चेहरा भी चोरी के वक्त पकड़े जाने जैसा सफ़ेद होने लगा।


"इसे वापिस रख जहाँ से उठाया था । ये बता, कल एक तो बिना पूछे टूल किट ले गया और जब लौटाई तो चोरों की तरह चुप चाप रख कर भाग गया । उसमे भी हथोडी तोड़ कर फ़ेंक गया", अब तक सुजीत हावी हो चुका था। उसके हाव भाव बता रहे थे की वो सुजीत के ऐसे बदले हुए रूप से हैरान था । वो अपने किए पर सुजीत के आगे निहत्था सा सुजीत की ही दया पर निर्भर, चुप चाप खड़ा था. "७५ रूपये देने होंगे हथोडी के", सुजीत बोला। "आगे से कुछ भी चाहिए तो पूछ लिया कर", यह ताबूत में आखिरी कील सुजीत ने ठोकी। उसने हारी हुई हाँ मैं हामी भरी ।

जिम्मेदारी एक शब्द से भी ज़्यादा हो चुकी थी सुजीत के लिए। कहें की एक एहसास बन गई थी या उससे भी ज्यादा, जिम्मेदारी का मूर्त रूप लेने लगा था वो ।
शायद कहीं बैठा गुरु खुश हो रहा होगा इस वक्त।